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Remus Lupin, werewolf and bon vivant

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Instant slash! [Oct. 12th, 2006|12:24 am]
Remus Lupin, werewolf and bon vivant
The darkness was all around as Remus walked through the Louisiana bayous down towards his sex hammock, random thoughts of hobo-licking crossing his mind.

He had been shocked earlier when Rayvyn Carmilla Blackheart had told him she often dreamed about God involved in spanking with a Devinesian devil , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Cox .

One day he would discuss his feelings with JD, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Cox masturbating himself with a speculum.

The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the toilet bowl brush he was carrying with him. Would Cox's vas deferens feel like that to his prostate gland?

What would Cox think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating Jaffa cakes off Cox's beautiful gonads?

Remus rubbed the toilet bowl brush against his vas deferens whispering Cox's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his sex hammock but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Cox's name into the night.

Meanwhile, Cox had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. the Louisiana bayous was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the Jaffa cakes he was carrying and leisurely scratched his vas deferens.

He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Remus calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his Jaffa cakes and ran towards the sound of his shmoopy-pie cuddlekins's voice.

Cox stumbled through the darkness towards Remus. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his shmoopy-pie cuddlekins being attacked by a Devinesian devil. Was he about to be raped by Darth Vader dressed as God? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his prostate gland.

Remus, Remus, my shmoopy-pie cuddlekins, screamed Cox. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Remus leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the toilet bowl brush and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare gonads pointing in the air.

Cox! Remus gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? JD said you were in your sex hammock engaged in some hobo-licking with Rayvyn Carmilla Blackheart.

No, I was alone in my sex hammock with nothing but my speculum for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your gonads was, and how I would like to stroke my vas deferens against it, and have you kiss my prostate gland, and now I see your gonads for myself I realise that not even God has a gonads to compare with yours.

Oh, shmoopy-pie cuddlekins, JD said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Rayvyn Carmilla Blackheart.

What! That old Devinesian devil, I'd rather get involved in spanking with Darth Vader, a toilet bowl brush and Jaffa cakes than dream of hobo-licking with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my prostate gland curl.

Oh, Remus!

Oh, Cox, my shmoopy-pie cuddlekins!

Cue soft music, sounds of hobo-licking and spanking, soft focus and fade.........
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preguntas! [Sep. 11th, 2006|05:14 pm]
Remus Lupin, werewolf and bon vivant
Feel free to ask Remus, Lord Fanny, or Jack Aubrey anything you like. (Technical questions about the proper rigging of a xebec may take a while to answer, however.)
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Remus J. Lupin's curriculum vitae (updated 8/06) [Aug. 17th, 2006|05:27 pm]
Remus Lupin, werewolf and bon vivant
I present for the consideration of the Board of Governors of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry:

Objective: The position of Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, 1970-1977
  • Prefect, Gryffindor House, 1975-1977
  • OWLs: 3 Outstanding (Transfiguration, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Charms), 3 Exceeds Expectations (Potions, Astronomy, Ancient Runes)
  • NEWTs: 2 Outstanding (Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts); 3 Exceeds Expectations (Potions, Astronomy, Transfiguration)

    King's College London 1982-85
  • Bachelor of Arts degree in Comparative Literature
  • Teaching certification

    Relevant Job Experience
  • Private tutor in English Literature to Angelica Smith and Nate Howell (King's College London students), 1984-85
  • Private tutor to Sebastian Prewett, 1987-88
  • Teacher, English as a Second Language, English Language Center, London, 1988-89
  • Adjunct Lecturer, Defense Against the Dark Arts, St. Bride School of Witchcraft, Dublin, Ireland, 1990-91
  • Professor, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, 1992-93
  • Professor, Transfiguration, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, 2005-06

    Other Qualifications
  • Can perform certain acts of wandless magic
  • Survived six months with feral werewolf pack
  • Has somehow avoided being killed, captured, and/or tortured by Death Eaters during both wars with You-Know-Who
  • Can speak and read Latin

    Professional Organizations
    Member, Order of the Phoenix, 1994-present

    Professional Affiliations
  • Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
  • Kingsley Shacklebolt, Auror First Class, Ministry of Magic
  • Arthur Weasley, Head of the Office for the Detection and Confiscation of Counterfeit Defensive Spells and Protective Objects, Ministry of Magic
  • Anthony Crowley, Professor of Herbology, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
  • Stephen Maturin, Professor of Potions, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

    Published Papers
    Lupin RJ. Courtship and mating habits of British grindylow. J Mag Creatures (103)191: 156-160.
    Lupin RJ. The Patronus charm: theory and practice. Brit J Def Dark Arts (152)42: 63-70.
    Lupin RJ. An anthropological study of a feral werewolf pack. J Lycanthropy (207)12: 182-187.
    Lupin RJ, Maturin S. A comparative study of hatching and offspring-rearing habits in freshwater magical creatures. J Mag Creatures; in press.
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